Saturday, November 10, 2018

I Have Social Anxiety

"Tormented" Photo by Distorted Views Photography

I have social anxiety.  Just having to stop for gas gives me a feeling of dread.  When I force myself to participate in any sort of social gathering I'll constantly stumble over my words, words that hardly make sense to anyone else.  I have little to no conversation skills.  Talking scares me.  I get a knot in my throat, a crushing pressure in my chest.  I'm afraid of what I'll say and how it will be taken.  It's exhausting, the amount of worry, shame, and constant hits to my self-esteem.  I'll hide in my phone.  People probably think I'm a snob.  I'm sorry for that.  It's just easier than feeling stupid.  Even once I've made it home and am "safe", every word I spoke, every strange look I received, every real or imagined reaction I perceived will run through my mind over and over again.  I'll go to bed thinking about it for hours, twisting and turning and sometimes crying myself to sleep.  I'll wake up the next morning tired and irritable.  Which in turn will create those not so good mommy moments that I will regret and hate myself for.  I shouldn't have yelled.  I should have been more patient.  Am I a bad mother?  Is my social anxiety causing issues with my children's social development?  Am I failing?  

It's about then that the depression sets back in.  And the depression creates an entirely different devil, (one that would require its own post).  I withdraw from society because of this.  It's just too much.  It's more than just being more comfortable at home.  It's better for my sanity.

I do better when I'm with my husband.  I don't feel as awkward walking into a room full of strangers.  Sometimes it feels like he's my only real friend.  And I don't mean to say I don't have friends, I do, and they are good, caring friends.  The way I feel with them is through no fault of their own.  But he is the only one that I feel I can be 100% myself with.  I'm not standing alone against the rest of the world when I'm with him.  I never feel embarrassed or judged with him.  But it's created a kind of codependency that I'm not proud of.  

I need to learn how to function in society without him walking me through it.  I just don't know how.  I don't know where to begin.  I've heard the old adage, "The more you do it, the easier it'll get."  But it seems that the more I do it, the worse I get.

How about you?  Do you suffer from social anxiety?  How do you handle it?

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Themed Thursday: 30 Punny Pick Up Lines

Following, are the best of the worst, cheesiest, almost too sweet to handle punny pick up lines I could find.  And I must be hungry because too many of them are food related...

bad puns

  1. If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.
  2. I'm gonna call you flood zone, because dam girl!
  3. Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
  4. Are you Jewish by any chance?  Because you Israeli hot!
  5. If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one.
  6. If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple.
  7. Do you live in a corn field, because I'm stalking you.
  8. Are you a 90 degree angle?  Because you're looking right to me.
  9. Is your name Ariel?  Because I think we mermaid for each other.
  10. Are you from Jamaica?  Because Jamaican me crazy.
  11. Not even Snape could Severus apart.
  12. You must be a banana, because I find you a peeling.
  13. I'd love to see you s'more.
  14. You've got a peach of my heart.
  15. You're waffle-y cute.
  16. This may be cheesy, but I think you're grate.
  17. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.
  18. Are you a sea lion?  Because I can sea you lion in my bed later.
  19. Are you a beaver, cuz dam girl!
  20. You remind me of my chapstick, cuz you da balm.
  21. Are you related to Yoda? Cuz yodalicious.
  22. Take me to the loony bin, cuz you bacon me crazy!
  23. It takes two to mango.
  24. You're the Obi-Wan for me.
  25. Nice buns.
  26. I wanna pizza you.
  27. You make me so corny.
  28. You ready for a Koala-ty relationship?
  29. Are you from Tennessee?  Cuz you're the only ten I see.
  30. If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus-Fine.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Themed Thursday: Puntastic Costumes

 Its that time of year once again, Halloween.  What you need this year is an awesome costume, a puntastic costume even.  Who doesn't like a good pun?  And if you're not a fan, let's see how many of these you can go through before your eyes roll up permanently in your head.  

Alice in Chains costume

As you can see from the picture above, our first punderful costume, Alice in Chains.  Not the one for you?  That's ok, we have a punderland of costume ideas ahead.

Taco Belle Costume

Taco 'bout a punomenal costume, this one is sure to get attention.  But if its nacho flavor, that's ok.

Social Butterfly Costume

The Social Butterfly costume is a sure winner but may not be what you're looking for.  Just Gif me another chance!  If you're looking for something to better draw in the ladies, how about the Chick Magnet?

Chick Magnet Costume

Still not laughing?  I thought it was punny.  I guess if you still need some punspiration, we'll continue on.

Spelling Bee Costume

How about this simple yet effective, Spelling Bee.  Ok, ok.  Even I found this one punfortunate.  It stung.  But you have your options.

Bee-yonce costume

If they don't get the PUNchline in this one, tell them to buzz off.  

Zom-bee costume

If this is still not the one for you, don't worry, I bee-lieve I have some more.

Dunkin Donuts Costume

These Dunkin Donuts costumes are great for friends or couples.  There are, pundoutably, other couples costumes available if you donut like this one.

Whip and Nae Nae costume

Need a spur of the moment decision on a couples costume, pony up with this sure favorite.
Or perhaps you are looking for a group costume?

Spice Girls Costume

You and your friends could have a fabulous thyme in these Spice Girls costumes.  

Domino's Pizza Costume

Or you can be punstoppable in this Domino's Pizza group costume.

French Kiss Costume

Calling this group costume perfectly awesome would be a punderstatement.  And for those who groaned their way all the way to the end, it is also our last punderific costume.  You're welcome.

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Themed Thursday: Celebrity Families

 Welcome to my mediocre account of celebrity families, but really just me reminiscing some of my childhood favorites.

Deluise Family

The younger generations might not recognize this first celebrity family but they were huge in my day.  (God, I feel old.)

Dom Deluise voiced a lot of my favorite cartoon characters growing up, made me laugh with some of my favorite Mel Brooks movies, I just found him all around adorable.

It wasn't until SeaQuest (remember that show?) that I fell for the rest of the Deluise boys.

In the SeaQuest 2032 Vapors episode, the Deluise family took over.

And lets not forget 21 Jump Street and my personal favorite: Stargate SG1 and its other spin-offs.  They not only acted in it but Peter directed quite a few of the episodes.

Unfortunately Dom passed away in 2009 but did he leave quite the legacy behind.

There is so much more to the Deluise family, but we'll move on.

Lawrence Brothers

The Lawrence brothers.

It all started with Joey on Blossom where he played the dumb hunk we all loved.  Then Matthew showed up in Boy Meets World and Mrs. Doubtfire and then we got all 3 of them in the shortly lived T.V. series, Brotherly Love.

They are all still in the entertainment business with no end in sight.

Olsen Twins

Remember these two?  Well some people seem not to have realized that...

Scarlet Witch

...this familiar face is related to the twins.

Olsen sisters

The Olsen sisters.

The Olsen twins have built a huge empire and though Elizabeth started off acting in her sisters films she made a name for herself in Martha Marcy May Marlene which she won various awards for.  Then of course her role as the Scarlet Witch has certainly advanced her acting career.

I saved these guys for last.  The Estevez family.

Estevez Family

A family of actors, including (not pictured) Martin's brother Joe.  But the three I grew up being more familiar with would be Martin, Charlie and Emilio.  Emilio was always my favorite having been part of the Brat Pack.

Emilio, Charlie and Martin

 The family has acted together several times, including Young Guns, The West Wing and of course Two and a Half Men.  Martin Sheen is in a starring role on Netflix's Grace and Frankie.  Charlie Sheen's most recent stuff was a show in 2017 called Typical Rick.  As for Emilio, in The Public, he writes, directs and acts in the show.

Well that's it.  That's all I have for you today.  What other celebrity families did I not mention that you are currently bitching at me for missing?

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Themed Thursday: Cross Stitch

When I was a teenager, I never suspected that as an adult, I would think the crafts of my grandmothers as something cool and awesome.  But here I am, wishing I knew how to cross-stitch.


I could frame my art work.

And put one in each room of the house.

I could make gifts for friends and family.  Something that people would actually want.

I could maybe even open an Etsy shop!  Make some extra money.

I hear it's very therapeutic.

The possibilities are endless. 

As are the ideas.

I think it's a hobby that I could really enjoy.

Wouldn't you agree?

I think even my husband would benefit from me getting a new hobby.

Yes, I believe cross-stitch it the hobby for me.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

All I Wanted. (Happy Freakin Birthday To Me)

All I wanted was to wake up to a personal invite to the motherland from the Queen herself.  Instead I woke up sick.  

All I wanted was to be treated like royalty on this one day of the year.  Instead I had to make my own coffee. 

All I wanted was sunshine and rainbows on what is supposed to be a glorious day and instead, its cold and cloudy.

All I wanted was an all expenses paid trip around the world. Instead I'm so poor that, there should be a joke there but it isn't even funny.

It's all I ever wanted.  I wasn't asking for too very much.  A perfect day with treasure chests full of all that glitters presented to me by unbearably gorgeous, half naked celebrities from all my favorite fandoms in song form to the music of David Bowie...LIVE because he just couldn't miss my special day under any circumstances.  That's not asking for too much is it?!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Anger Issues

Have you ever wished you were a more violent person?  Or maybe not wished but daydreamed of the amount of violence you could ensue on your enemies?  I do, more often than I'd like to admit.

In reality, I'm not really physically capable of harming anyone to any great degree due to my petite size, and I'm a mom.  Pretty sure there is something in the "mom code" that prevents me from physically lashing out at people, but it is fun to daydream, right?

Like that one person who has tickled every single one of my pet peeves in under an hour.  Though outwardly I am a perfect picture of calm as I casually sip my coffee, in my mind...I'm scrubbing a brick wall with their face.

And that one son of a motherless goat.  You know who you are.  Everyone knows who you are.  You could be mid-sentence talking to about the weather and I'm deaf to anything other than the sweet ping an iron skillet makes when it hits it's target.

Maybe it is just me...perhaps more sleep or some meditation should be in my near future....