Friday, July 10, 2015

Oh, I am full of the random b.s. these days

I should probably have picked a subject to focus on before starting this post, but with the historic lack of action on this blog I had a sudden urge to get something posted and the urge prevailed.

I'm beginning to think that I should also be drinking when writing this blog.  I'm very entertaining when I've been drinking.  Of course there's a large chance that I may be the only one who thinks so.
So, back to the lack of posts,...I sorry.

My plan is to get any poor unsuspecting soul I can, to find themselves trapped by my wondrous wit and to be completely incapable of NOT following my blog.  ( I believe there could possibly be a double negative in that,...somewhere??)  But I'm shit at advertising.  So if you have any advise, I'm all ears.  (That's a fun image to picture)

Also, if any of you have any advise for obtaining large quantities of money, quickly and fairly easily, without having to stand on a street corner, because I doubt the Mountain Man would appreciate that so much, then I would be most grateful.

I'm so poor right now that I've actually missed fast food from McDonald's and I hate McDonald's, but the convenience of not having to cook, THAT I miss.  I need a televised celebrity to raise money on my behave.

And sweets, I need candy to slowly rot my insides, the best kind of therapy.  I probably need a more intensive type of therapy, but again, I'm poor.

Perhaps I should adapt the mob mentality. Rule the neighborhood, set up a casino, invest in concrete shoes and baseball bats.....Am I being disturbing right now?  I could be more disturbing if you'd like.  I'm pretty sure I could freak out Charlie Manson if I put my mind to it.  

You know what's more disturbing that him?  My 3 year old.  Why, you ask, could I possibly find my sweet, angel faced little girl that disturbing?  Well it might have to do with the fact that she told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand because she had a surprise for me.  I opened my eyes to a severely large cockroach crawling up my arm.  Indeed, a very disturbing moment in my life.

I apologize if this post is a bit random, but I've been on a coffee kick lately.  (Once an addiction of mine and quickly coming back into fashion...)  It speeds me up, out of the funk I've been in lately and helps me to be better at socializing.  It doesn't really make sense to anyone but me, but see, I think and therefore talk faster on coffee and the faster I talk the less chance that I mumble dumb statements and even if I do make a conversational mistake, I'm talking too fast for most people to catch it.  So, win win.  

Last but not least, random awesomeness brought to you by the Bloggess 

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