I will obtain more money.
I will obtain a life.
I will also obtain a secret life of wild nights, possibly some crime, and a whole lot of fun.
I will obtain the knowledge for the world's best prank.
I will obtain a stalker.
I will obtain new excuses for my behavior.
I will obtain a recording of an audience applause to help my self-esteem.
I will stop saying "Lol" in face to face conversation.
I will stop running into doors, windows, walls, tables, chairs...etc.
I will stop tripping over invisible objects.
I will stop embarrassing myself...(hopeless).
I will stop taking all the credit....and start blaming others.
I will stop having conversations with imaginary critters...in public.
I will get a new start on all my bad habits.
I will be more awesome (if possible).